MissCarolMel's Xanga

Eyelash Extensions

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:46:16 GMT

I've heard nothing but terrible things about eyelash extensions, but I've always been curious about how it works! I recently buddied up with an eyelash extension company in New York that has been super helpful in letting me know in all the pros and cons of the process.

In a nutshell, I really LOVE my eyelash extensions and I will tell you why! :) Right off the bat, I don't think it's for everyone. I think if you're the type of person who loves to scratch her eyes out in the morning (we all know how wonderful that feels) or the type of person who has crazy irritating contacts --- I don't think this will work for you.

But for the people who hate spending 30 minutes getting ready in the morning, who hate relying on eyeliner and mascara, and obviously for the people who were not born with long, full lashes--- this is definitely a great way for you to save time & money. I actually have long lashes, BUT they are super thin and very hard to keep curled. I REALLY hate spending more than 10 minutes getting ready, since I have to be at work by 6:30am. (Getting ready when it's pitch black outside is noooo funnnn...)

Here were my lashes before...

and after:

The great part about these lashes is that they act as an eyeliner, so for the past month I didn't wear ANY eyeliner or eyeshadow. I really liked the clean look it gave without any makeup! It saved me a LOT of time and I didn't have to rely on touch ups throughout the day. It felt liberating to basically wake up, put on some lotion and concealer, and walk out the door!

This is me with zero makeup:

And again, my entire face with zero makeup:

It kind of gives you a little eye boost/sparkle. Ok, so what are the cons? If you DO wear makeup, you should be careful on how you take it off. I just used makeup wipes to remove makeup so that I didn't have to worry about getting any oils on the lashes. Any creams or oils may cause them to fall out easier. Also, you might be scared when you wake up and see 3 eyelashes on your pillow... but they're supposed to fall out naturally like your normal lashes.

As long as you are careful with your lashes and can treat them gently, I feel as though eyelash extensions can really save you so much time & energy. Of course, I really miss having fun with my eyeliners and eyeshadows, so I would probably only do this for a special occasion like a wedding. It could be GREAT for brides on their wedding days, but I highly recommend trying it out beforehand just to make sure you can handle the special instructions your eyelash specialist gives you. Since there have been so many horror stories about eyelash extensions, I'm sure that the shape of your eyes, the growth spurt of your lashes and also the professionals who glue the lashes on all vary your experience. (Please let me know if you want any recommendations!)

Anyone else have any good/bad experiences with their eyelash extensions?

The Caramels' 2nd year

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:07:50 GMT

Today is our 2 year wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's been 2 years already!

Marriage used to scare me... and it STILL scares me! In my fickle, free-spirited lifestyle, marriage is the most serious thing I've ever committed to. Of course, some things about our marriage isn't what I had pictured ---I don't cook every night (or cook EVER), our place is a mess most of the time, and we act more like college buddies than anything else. But one thing is for sure--- I married my best friend. We are total goofs together and can just talk for hours about ANYTHING. Sometimes when I see him rubbing his belly and watching his music Youtube clips, I can't help but to smile and think how crazy I am about this guy. Or sometimes when he's talking to me and he has chocolate all over the corners of his mouth, I just want to squeeze him and tell him how much I love him.

Marriage is more than just loving someone... it's really committing to them and their families, their history, their quirks, their past traumas, their preferences, their strengths and weaknesses. All those things make them who they are. Another thing I learned from my two years of marriage is that no matter how much you think you know someone, you never stop learning about who they are. People are so complex and constantly changing! But in it's entirety, it's such a beautiful thing.

Our pastor recently did a sermon on marriage and pulled this poem on the bulletin, and I remembered that he had given it to us during our pre-marital counseling. I think it's a very romantic and realistic view of marriage!

How hard it is for me, who live
in the excitement of women
and have the desire for them
in my mouth like salt. Yet
you have taken me and quieted me.
You have been such light to me
that other women have been
your shadows. You come near me
with the nearness of sleep.
And yet I am not quiet.
It is to be broken. It is to be
torn open. It is not to be
reached and come to rest in
ever. I turn against you.
I break from you, I turn to you.
We hurt, and are hurt,
and have each other for healing.
It is healing. It is never whole.

Wendell Berry, "Marriage"

Some recap pictures:

I love the facial expressions in these!

Mrs. Caramel gettin' down

Mr. Caramel gettin' down

...to many more years to come ;)

Caramel's Slideshow

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 15:44:26 GMT

I love slideshows! I love seeing baby pictures, the pictures of your awkward junior high days, the pictures of when you were the skinniest (typically in high school) and old family pictures. I knew exactly who was going to do our slideshow, because luckily one of my friends is a very talented visual artist! I've seen him do slideshows in the past at friends' weddings, and Mr. Caramel and I both agreed that he has this certain style and quality to his work that is very unique and amazing.

Our slideshow:

C & D: Photo Montage from Atomic89 on Vimeo.

If you'd like his information:

Atomic89 Visual Communications
atomic89.com
andres@atomic89.com
949-903-3535

I really love how he made it photographical, romantic, editorial, and shows our "just friends" phase together in college then goes into when we first started dating after college. The special song that plays throughout is what Mr. Caramel sang to me when he proposed... right before he sang the song he wrote to me. It's always been "our song" especially because no one really knows it! It's a beautiful song by Derek Webb called "Better than Wine." Please feel free to steal it----he's an artist that isn't too well known, but I think he's a FANTASTIC singer/songwriter and would want him to get more fans!!

Wedding videos don't have to be expensive if you have patience!

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 23:14:20 GMT

It's been almost exactly 2 years since I've been married... eek! Back when I was planning my wedding, I knew I wanted to invest in a wedding video, but it was just not in our budget. If I wanted it done, I wanted it done WELL and professionally! I've heard of so many brides regretting not having a videographer because they were so busy that day. Luckily, I had a very generous friend/videographer who offered to film our wedding as long as it didn't have to be edited. (Editing is the most difficult and the lengthiest part!) I figured I'd get somebody to edit it in a few years since I didn't need it ASAP. So after our wedding, he gave us a few tapes of our wedding and we had let it collect dust for the past 1.5 years...

Until now! I was sincerely hoping there was somebody who would be willing to take up a side project. This is how I found Confetti Films--- a company in Canada that I have been emailing and calling back & forth for the past couple months. They were actually referred to me by Still Motion, who I ABSOLUTELY LOVE! They were so sweet in willing to do my project! So here I present to you.... The belated Caramel recap wedding video!!

A beautiful day:) from Confetti Films on Vimeo.

Given the fact that they weren't even THERE on my wedding (obviously they were in Canada!) I can't believe that they were able to make such a great recap video! I will eventually want to a more "detailed" video of the wedding in the future, but I was very pleased in seeing the results of the high light video. As an artist myself, I knew it would be hard to be given someone else's work and be expected to make it your own. It threw me off on the sequence of events, but I thought "how interesting and unique!" For the first time, I saw myself actually walk down the aisle, hear my sister's MOH speech again, and see the bouquet toss and the CRAZY garter toss in action! (Up until this moment I had only seen photographs.)

I gave them a couple songs to use for our video: Kissing You by Des'ree (the song I walked down the aisle to) and Yellow by Coldplay (our recessional song). It was actually kind of fun to try describing my own wedding to her! Kissing You was the song I swore I would walk down the aisle to back in elementary school, when I thought it was the most romantic song ever! And Yellow was "our" song because when we first started dating, we were both in this crazy Coldplay phase. We also went to a lot of their concerts together and Yellow is a GREAT song to watch live. (Plus all their other songs are de-presssing!)

Honestly ladies, I think it really matters to have some type of video/filming for your wedding day. I love the photographs but the camera catches moments you want to remember forever. (Err... Like how Mr. Caramel and I actually missed each other's lips on our ceremony kiss! As you see, we kissed twice because we missed! I had totally forgot about that...)

Giving the bride what she wants!

Wed, 16 Sep 2009 02:19:25 GMT

This past weekend, I had the privilege of throwing a bridal shower and bachelorette party for a close girlfriend of mine! It's been awhile since I've actually been a part of the planning process, so it was really fun even though half of us are sprawled all around the country! The thing I love about throwing showers is that all the bridesmaids are supposed to think about what the BRIDE would want. It's not just about throwing a fun, elaborate party with cute favors--- it's about thinking about the bride's taste, her quirks, favorite colors, favorite foods and inside jokes. And that's exactly what we did!

The bride isn't a party animal, she's not into anything too crazy like clubbing or bar hopping--- she just wanted a great, relaxing time with her girlfriends over the weekend.

Some cute decor! We hung panties and pictures by the fireplace:

Another huge part about the shower was thinking of ways to make the bride as embarrassed as possible. How about a game of Pin-The-Macho-On-The-Man?? Those are all individual penises I had to cut out. (About 20 of them!!) It was pretty funny that the winner was the pastor's wife who had quietly attended the shower. She has 4 boys at home and the prizes were all naughty penis shaped candies!! (She generously gave them away to us afterwards.)

People were not entirely off the poster! We only had 1 girl who put a penis on the curtain.

After the bridal shower, we all headed to Temecula for some wine tasting and horseback riding! The bride had taken horseback riding lessons as a child, so it seemed fitting! Plus a lot of us have never been horseback riding and it seemed like an enjoyable experience for everyone.

Horses are so funny! Some kept pooing, some were bi-polar, some had huge egos, and some kept eating random stuff along the way.. it was fun to call the horse you were on, "your" horse!

After half of us went horseback riding, we sat down in the shade to do some wine tasting.

After that we had dinner and rested up because early the next morning, we had a private yoga session right by the beach!! (We were supposed to have it right ON the beach but the sand was too wet!) The bride is a crazy yoga buff, so this was something that was very "her"! We also got hooked up by getting her favorite yoga teacher! (Our teacher was Peggy Hall and she teaches at Yoga Works in Laguna, CA)

The weather was actually perfect... cloudy, crisp and a bit gloomy. One of the questions of the bridal shower games was "what is the bride's favorite weather?" Cloudy, crisp and gloomy!! :)

In addition to never having gone horseback riding, a lot of us had never done yoga! So it was a great experience for all of us no matter what. I have done yoga but have never done it outside. It was SO great when the teacher would ask us to listen to the sound of the ocean.... it was so relaxing! (We asked the teacher beforehand to make the session fairly easy for us beginners.)

Along with the private session, we got a free copy of Peggy's DVD!

It was a great way to end the bridal shower instead of the usual drunkard night! We had some good, clean fun with some unique activities. It was a great, no-frills, no drama and very easy bridal shower/bachelorette party. And the most important of all---the bride was very happy! ;)

de-stress and de-tox

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 01:20:43 GMT

I never wanted to be one of those high-strung, whining, stressed out people that you felt nervous being around. I always thought of them as weak, annoying wimps who can't take control of their own lives. Harsh--yes, but I'm just being brutally honest! However, as much as I hate to admit it, I think I'm becoming one of them. How do I know this? Well for starters, my body is telling me so. My jaw is sore from clenching, I'm starting to have major stomach problems, and my upper shoulders are so tense that I had to visit the chiropractor for the first time. (And not just for a massage!) I will say over and over again, "I'm fine! Really, I'm ok. I'm in control." But my body is angry at my denial. It's wagging its finger at me and saying that I need to lie down and deal with my issues.

image source

Here are some ways I'm preparing to help de-stress and de-tox my suffering brain and body:

- taking a moment each day to lie down, stare at a space and concentrate on breathing (I wish I could be a yoga person, but I'm usually trembling and sweating so much that I can't really relax!)

- drinking a lot of water & Gatorade. So much that I have to pee all the time.

- lessening my coffee intake. This is truly difficult, but I think it will help with my dehydration and stomach issues.

- spend more time outdoors and less time on the laptop/TV

- not RUSHING everywhere! Taking my time getting to my location... on purpose.

- in addition to not rushing, arriving 5-10 minutes early to wherever I need to be, so I'm not frazzled.

- stop denying my stress. It hurts so much worse when you suppress it!

- typically since I'm an animal person, I like to chill with my cat. But because I don't have one anymore, I've decided to volunteer at the local animal shelter. It's very rewarding!!

I know that my work has been causing me a lot of stress, which is why I'm grateful that I'm changing careers completely. (Bad work environment = emotional and physical hell!) However I found this article about this very issue:

The truth on stress

Repeat after me: Work does not give you stress. Feeling bad about work gives you stress.

This means that changing your work hours, your responsibilities, your priorities or your work environment is meaningless, unless it also changes the way you feel at work.

Those stress management courses will not do the trick either, unless they can achieve just that.

If you’re stressed, you must take charge and make whatever changes are necessary to go from feeling anxious, inadequate or drained at work to feeling appreciated, proud and energetic which will not only remove workplace stress, but will also make you more efficient, creative, successful and happy at work.

Agree or disagree? What are some of your tips in relaxing & detoxing? Please give me your tips because I really would LOVE some more tips!

Not the finest moment

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:43:43 GMT

Weddingbee, this is how much I love you. I was going through all of my digital photos from my photographer, and I found some... not so nice pictures. Of course, I love candids but some of these are weird and quirky... and not so pretty! But I will share them with you as a reminder, especially for you bride-to-be's, that the camera is ALWAYS watching every gross move you do. =)

First off, relaxing on the formal set. Shoes kicked off, petals everywhere... just relaxing in our flipflops-- I love it!

oopsie! my flip flop is showing!

after the tossing of the petals... which we were only allowed to do if we....

promised to pick them all up afterwards! I love this action/behind the scenes shot.

I'm not sure what's going on here...

Reception time! I'm not sure who was responsible for the cake toppers, but obviously they didn't get that they were supposed to be holding hands! I think they were on the wrong side for most of the night too. They said that Mr. Caramel's topper kept falling over and that mine stood perfectly still all throughout the night!

Ok, now time for the ugly faces!

Whatever it was, it must have been really funny!

I think I was not aware that there was some dirty dancing going on!

"dance like it hurts a little" - my bridesmaids

whoa whoa WHOA!! what is going on here??

I'll the end with that picture. :) Did any of you go through your pictures and find some surprising events?

Here comes the bride...

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 02:46:26 GMT

I think this story should be funny by now, but I still can't seem to shrug off this one very important crucial part of my wedding....

The one moment of the wedding day that I was most nervous about was walking down the aisle. Don't trip, don't walk too fast, don't take your eyes off the groom, and most importantly of all--- try not to ugly-cry. And I remember it all too clearly. I took my dad's arm and waited in front of the doors.

It was the moment when the doors opened and everyone started to rise.... and then.... someone started clapping. LOUDLY. And it wasn't a light, celebratory clapping, it was the big, jock-like, goofball clapping. I don't know if I have super great peripheral vision or not, but I was completely aware of how it started and how it ended. I saw from the corner of my eye that the guy next to him yanked his arm to make him stop. Then the guy finally figured out that he was the only one clapping and made a big "OOPS, MY BAD" shrug. But from that moment, my mental status was not to trip or cry, it was fighting the thoughts of turning to him and saying "WHAT THE *@^# IS WRONG WITH YOU."

(In this picture, my mind is thinking "WHO was clapping?!")

To this day, I'm not sure who that person was but I know he was probably a friend of the groom. But I will always remember that moment. Who even thinks about CLAPPING while the bride is walking down the aisle?!? As if we don't see weddings on TV all the time and notice that people are supposed to be in a hushed silence when the bride walks down the aisle.

I did forget all about the clapping right after the ceremony. You can definitely see the look of relief on my face when it was over. After the ceremony, all there is to do is eat and party!! And then the honeymoon! Woot!

One thing I do advise for those who are still preparing for their wedding day and what I tell my bride-to-be's all the time to not verbalize what is going wrong throughout the day. Saying it out loud makes it more real, and as for myself, once I start verbally saying it, I start to feel terrible about it. I knew all sorts of things were going wrong, but I would just smile & press on. There is nothing you can do about it, and saying it out loud makes others aware of it, and so on. I never told anyone about The Clapper until maybe a few months after the wedding when I started to remember all the details!

Plus, once you're done with your wedding day, you can come back on Weddingbee and tell us all about it! Also, if you didn't know, a good piece of advice for you guests is that you are NOT supposed to clap until AFTER the ceremony is done. It would be much appreciated for the bride, as this is the moment she's dreamt about ever since she was little. Thanks! (Seriously, in case you didn't know)

Anyone else have any "wrong" moments you'd like to share about your wedding day?

Me? Jealous? Never!

Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:32:41 GMT

Touchy subject! This is an issue that not a lot of women like to talk about because we really don't ever want to admit that we are jealous. Being jealous sounds petty, selfish and so "below us." However, I do think that people are a lot more jealous than we think! And I think it is quite normal, and okay for us to admit that we struggle with it.

Before I go further, let me give the dictionary's definition of the word:

Jealous

1.	feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages (often fol. by of): He was jealous of his rich brother.

2.	feeling resentment because of another's success, advantage, etc. (often fol. by of): He was jealous of his brother's wealth.

3.	characterized by or proceeding from suspicious fears or envious resentment: a jealous rage; jealous intrigues.

4.	inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc., as in love or aims: a jealous husband.

5.	solicitous or vigilant in maintaining or guarding something: The American people are jealous of their freedom.

Back when I was doing wedding trials I witnessed a lot jealousy. Sadly, I mostly saw it in the bridesmaids who's atmosphere rang "why the heck am I a bridesmaid for this girl?" I saw some jealous bridesmaids, which probably came off to the bride as being irresponsible and inattentive. This caused a lot of uncomfortable tension on the morning of the wedding day... it was very awkward! The only times I saw unconditional love and support were either from sisters or true best friend bridesmaids. It's easy to tell who is geniunely happy for the bride. Being overly observant made me pick up some of these negative vibes and wonder where it could be coming from?

I'm sure there are a lot of reasons of why women can be jealous of each other, particularly when it comes to weddings. There could be missing links that I didn't catch like a bad history, lots of drama and broken friendships. Some reasons I can think of are:

- that they are putting a lot of work into someone else's day and they don't think they deserve it
- the difficulty of being happy for someone other than themself (I'm being very blunt, but it could be true!)
- they want the attention for themself
- they are constant "givers" who are annoyed and fed up with never receiving on the other end
- they are witnessing a "better" wedding or marriage than their own
- they are comparing their own self/marriage/wedding/level of happiness with others

I admit that when I go to other people's weddings, a part of me notices details that I wish I had done in my own wedding. I remember saying one thing out loud about wedding flowers to one of my married friends, and she said sternly "No.... Don't do that." She knew what I was on and I immediately nodded & understood. If I always did that, I would wind up being very unhappy and ungrateful for my own wedding! I worked very hard for my wedding and I did what I could in my own time & budget. I honestly hope to work on my own jealousy and learn to accept my wedding day as it was, without regret. Plus being jealous takes away from celebrating someone else's special day-- a day that they worked very hard for! I remember that it was so important to me that our guests have a good time at our wedding, so I would want to have a good time for their wedding and not be bogged down with my negative thoughts. It's different attending weddings as a married woman because your wedding already happened--- But as for singles, they can always jot down ideas and save them for future use. The hope for creating a beautiful and succesful wedding is still possible so they aren't as judgemental.

Again, I have to remember that the most important part of getting married is the marriage and not how lavish and perfect the wedding day is. Your wedding day is 1 day, but your marriage is the rest of your life! A person could have a $200k wedding and have it end in divorce, but a couple could get married at City Hall and have the most romantic marriage that will stand the test of time.

Not to downplay the importance of wedding days, since I really did care a whole lot about it! But I think it's good to accept your jealousy, and to try dealing with it in a healthy way. I feel truly honored and blessed to have had sacrificial bridesmaids and I would DEFINITELY want to be 100% happy and supportive for them on their wedding day. Just take it one step at a time -- I loved my hair, I loved my dress, I loved my makeup....and I have to remind myself how lucky I was to have certain things exactly the way I wanted it!

Have you dealt with jealousy issues or witnessed them around you? How do you deal with it?

New Year, New Pictures

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 01:17:51 GMT

After getting some sudden inspiration from the ring pictures that have been posting, I decided to take out my 6 year old Canon rebel SLR and start shooting again. I never found much pleasure in taking pictures of people, but rather detailed shots of inanimate objects. (At least inanimate objects won't shriek and run away!)

Here I am, fooling around with Christmas lights and crouching at our small window sill! (I used a macro lens for most of these.)

I love the soft glow of Christmas lights! I'm the type of person who wants Christmas lights as the main lighting of the room, all year round!

Different lighting makes all the difference! I used a separate flash for these. I really dislike using the flash on the camera itself---I only use that for emergencies!

our engravings :)

I absolutely love my wedding band-- almost as much as my E-ring! I wear it every day and love how it is so simple and light!

I remember that I kept going back & forth about wanting a princess-cut ring or a round-cut. Luckily, Mr. Caramel created this masterpiece to look almost like a shape inbetween those two cuts.

Don't forget about your husband's rings! I'm going to have a mini photoshoot of Mr. Caramel's ring too!